Televison and Friendship
An Essay on Friendship
Pine Point Eigth Grade English
April 2011
By: Jake DeLapp
In many ways friendship is more than friendship itself, it can be compared to so many different things and explained so many different ways. I think that companionship is a lot like a TV and a remote because, for one, a television and a remote go together perfectly. If you look at an actual TV and an actual remote you notice that TV’s always have or come with remotes. I think that I could compare myself to the TV because I am incondite without my remote. I also think that TV’s and remotes are a lot like companionship because the remote guides the TV. In real life the remote is whets telling the TV to change channels or go down a different path and even shut down. This is like friendship because you are the TV and the remote is your friend, your friends or remotes are always bolstering you out in life and making sure you head down the right path. Finally there’s the fact that a TV would be nothing without a remote. If you had a TV without a remote you wouldn’t be able to change channels and you might be watching the food network all day long. In friendship if you’re the TV that’s lost its remote or friend you suddenly find it a lot harder to do accustomed things without your remote and it’s certainly not as enjoyable. If I look at companionship I can always see a lot more than just a bond itself.
Dear Jake,
ReplyDeleteThe fist thing that I noticed was that I could not pick out your bolded long sentence because i think you bolded the entire paragraph except the first three words. I also noticed that you said
"the remote is whets telling" I believe you mean to say "the remote is whats telling" and I am not sure if there should be an apostrophe in TV's. I really found that your connection of TV and a remote to friendship a very good one and I especially liked when you said "I am incondite without my remote.
Gaelen
Dear Jake,
ReplyDeleteGood start to essay number 12! I like your comparison to the remote and the TV. My favorite part was your last chunk where you talk about what happens if a TV losses it’s remote, or if friend losses another good friend. I would suggest making your background color and text more of a lighter and easier tone on your eyes because it is hard to see your loose sentence with those vibrant colors. Also, make sure to RE-READ your essay to fix any silly errors like "the remote is whets telling". However, I think you did a wonderful job on your essay overall.